Sex

---

Kuddo's to those women out there who have the guts to examine
this topic. Do you know if getting older lessens the sex drive? Mine is
virtually non existant with my husband and it may possibly be because we
work together, lol, God only knows, or the fact that I'm approaching 40, I am
still very attracted to him but the desire to have sex is diminishing. Anybody
relate?

---

Getting older does not usually lessen the sex drive in us anywhere near "approaching 40". In fact, you're in the sweet spot right now and should be examining this issue as it is might be a warning signal that needs attention. If your sex drive is diminishing, your husband is well aware of it at many levels. That puts him in a tough spot too. For him to feel like a man and give you what you want, he needs the feeling of being passionately desired or he'll eventually be out seeking that feeling somewhere else.

You said you are exercising, eating well and taking vitamins, so it must be something else.

You mentioned that you're not sleeping well. This could be it. Does your husband snore? That would kill the drive for anyone. If that's it, it needs to be talked about and there are ways to deal with it.

I heard a sincere and qualified relationship professional say once; We have excellent science and strategy to deal with just about every aspect of improving human relationships; except for one. "Annoyances"... we have no idea how to deal with especially annoying behavior.

I don't totally agree with this line of thinking. I've seen annoying "behaviors" go away when powerfully confronted in my children, in my friends and in my husband. I know that things I've done that annoyed him needed to change or we wouldn't have made it. Now, I can barely remember those bad habits that seemed so much a part of me at the time.

What do I mean by "powerfully confronted?"

I just mean talking openly about the behaviors and the effect they have on us, and ultimately the price we might pay if they go on without a change. If people don't see the value in changing and the pain in not changing, they don't usually make the effort to change a behavior.

In the case of having a partner who snores, it deserves a topic all its own. This is very serious. We all need quality sleep or sex drive won't be the only thing that suffers.

Good luck.

---

just saw this other note, about sex after 40. YES! Big sex drive. I'm 45 and just got out of a relationship with a 43 year old, and all is well in the sex after 40 world! You working with your husband may have something to do with the lessened desire... I mean, how can i miss you if you are always around? Might be a good idea to schedule some dates where business is not discussed, and totally over due the sexy thing for him. Just act if you aren't really feeling it... trust me, you will appreciate it and so will he!

---

I am embarrassed to say, but I had none plus I was about 12 lbs overweight which doesn't help. I know this sounds crazy, but I went on ebay for weight loss stuff because you can always see true reviews from people who have tried the product. There is this "healthy chocolate" that a nurse shows her before and afters on it. I bought the sample pack for $19.00 and I have already lost weight. Plus my sex drive has improved. I also am noticing less pain to my joints. Let's just say my DH wants to be me more of this healthy chocolate, and they are right, it does taste like fudge if you let it melt in your mouth. You wouldn't think you're getting over 4c. of spinach from eating this chocolate and berry stuff. It's amazing IMO. Anyone else having the same results?

---

Well I know my sex drive is non-existent. Losing weight and increased sex drive eating chocolate? I'm on my way to check it out! Oh ... I don't have an ebay account though ... have you seen it anywhere else?

---

yeah Tinker I was in the same boat, and feeling fat never helps a sex drive if you know what I mean. Ummm the only other place is chocacai that I've seen it.

Let me know if you get the same results k?

---

Tinker wrote: Well I know my sex drive is non-existent. Losing weight and increased sex drive eating chocolate? I'm on my way to check it out! Oh ... I don't have an ebay account though ... have you seen it anywhere else?

go to chocolaterave.com

---

Start with yourself. Do the things that make you feel desirable. Take a hot bath. Shave your legs. Oil your skin. Put on a bra that makes you feel sexy. Do your nails, hair, make-up,etc. Start there. Then begin to think about how sexy you are, believe it,and begin to act on it!!

---

Hi Gracie,

As you approach 30 your hormone levels begin to change and it may become more and more difficult to maintain arousal and reach orgasm. As you approach 40 the ratio of ovarian hormones, the hormones responsible for sexual response, continue to change in a way which may make sexual response slow and sometimes non-existant. You may benefit from a frank discussion with your physician about supplementing your ovarian hormones to restore the necessary ratio for sexual response.

Beth

---

I'm only 36 and have a no desire to have sex!

I have NO clue as to what is wrong with me. For years, at some point in time, I through "dry spells" (what I like to call em')in my sexual drive! Although, I think it must have a lot to do with issue's from when I was younger, perhaps I have a closeness issue? I was abused and we will leave it at that for now....

I hate that cliche thou... "I'm messed up because my mom didn't love me enough".... blah, blah,blah... I have always thought I was bigger & better than that. I CAN handle everything & anything! However, as I get older, I realize I am not the superwoman I like to perceive myself as.... Sijavascript:AddSmileyIcon('')ng....

Anyhow, I am happy (at least I like to think so), I have 3 children, a great & attractive husband ( but he's ALWAYS here... we both have our own business's and work from home.. .... He keeps coming as I type this... I'm never alone! ).... Just don't know... I could careless if I ever had sex again!

The only time I am able to have any sexual desire is if I drink some wine or some kind of alcohol. Which stinks now, as I don't drink anymore... That would be another topic!!

So what? What do I do? I feel as I have soooo much pressure to give my husband what he needs and when I don't, I feel guilty for neglecting his needs... Just seems like an endless cycle!

Any thoughts?

Thanks for listening!