Stepson from HELL!

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How do you deal with a stepson that is a Zero? He has very little personality and says, hello and good-bye. He refuses to have any conversation with me. He is almost 17 and every time I talk to my wife about him there is trouble. He has lived with me for 7 years. I can't wait until he is 18 and than he is out of here.

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Hmm. And you're wondering why he doesn't talk to you... Gee, can't figure it out. I'm sure he can't wait til he's 18 either.

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Only a woman looking on a man site "Just for Men", would say that. I bet you really hate men.

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What did I say? You're the one who said his stepson is worthless, has no personality and is from Hell. I rest my case. Sounds like you resent women- maybe even his mother for taking her son's side??

I really hope a man will step in and talk some sense into you. Do you really feel that way about your son, "step" or not? Take a look at what you actually wrote about a child YOU helped raise.

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That is a terrible thing to say.  Do you really have to ask why he won't acknowledge you?

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It's very possible that he knows what you think of him. If he thinks you look at him as a zero why do you think he would want to talk to you?

I know when I was 17 or 18 I didn't want to have too much to do with my real Mom and Dad. That is fairly normal to be rebellious at that age and think you know everything.  Being a Step Dad or having a Step Dad has got to make it even harder for both of you.

If you really want to work on the relationship you'd have to find some common ground or a common interest but even before that you'd need to clear the air and probably try to start the relationship over from scratch.

 Let him know you care if you do and that you are there if he needs anything.
But if you continue to think of him the way you are now that will just be conveyed to him whether you actually say it to him or not. We communicate our true feelings with a lot more than just words.

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If your stepson won’t converse with you and you can’t wait til he’s out of the house, what is it that you that you can’t “deal” with about him? You haven’t made that clear. Is he actually doing something wrong, or do you just not like him in general?

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marks628 wrote: Only a woman looking on a man site "Just for Men", would say that. I bet you really hate men.

No, not "only a woman looking on a man site" would say that. I'm a man, and I agree with Kathy. Your response to her is indicative of what your responses to your "Zero" step-son most likely are - dismissive, defensive and unreasoned. Try looking at things from his point of view for a change, and stop being such an arrogant, all-knowing jerk. I suspect the step-son has a different idea of who the true Zero is, and that's why he doesn't even bother.

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I marrired this child's Mother and sponsored him here to the USA from the Ukraine. I have 3 grown up chidren that made me proud. I tried to treat him as my own. He has a biologccal father in Virgina and he won't communicate with him either. He is a Loner, the profile of who you will one day read about. So all you bleeding hearts, remember when you see him on the 6:00 PM news. Thanks for all your help, a Step-Father reaching out!

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Well, I've always wondered what kind of home life those poor kids must have had to cause them to just lose it. I hope for a lot of people's sake, you (if you are serious about this) will cancel your pity party you're trying to throw and seek some professional help for you and your family. Mark, bottom line is you are the adult and until you learn how to communicate (in general) your family and you will suffer. I know you are smart enough to understand what we're saying here, so let go of the BS before it's too late.