Selfishness is OK
Selfishness has a negative connotation in our culture; but it’s not selfishness, it’s a lack of empathy that hurts others. While I am no Ayn Rand acolyte, I do agree with her argument in “The Virtue of Selfishness.” Taking care of oneself is not only reasonable; it is necessary – necessary for su...
“Real Rape”
This past weekend I read an article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine entitled “To Catch A Rapist.” It highlighted the work of a dedicated inspector and some of her colleagues in the Special Victims Unit of Law Enforcement in New Haven, Conn. and the repeated roadblocks they come up against t...
Families With Abuse
Abusive situations in families do not happen in isolation. It is neither bad luck, nor is it the fault of the victim of abuse. Abuse happens within a culture of abuse. There is something that is handed down over the generations that encourages those who abuse and allow those around the abuser to ...
PARENTS WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS Aka: Growing Up With Crazy
How would you know if you were the only sane person in an insane asylum? Now imagine yourself as a child with no prior knowledge of what is sane or normal. How would a child know if they were a sane person in a family with disturbed parents? A significant part of the trauma of growing up in an ab...
Power and Sexual Arousal in the Abusive Relationship
When we think of children who have been sexually abused, we think of fear, anger and violence. Most sexual abuse survivors talk of the terror and disassociation surrounding the abuse. Many still feel that way as adults and don't enjoy sex now, even in a loving relationship. But there are those wh...