Is Meditation the New Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy feels like an absolute necessity at times. It’s also crazy expensive and usually not covered by insurance companies. 

The last time I went to couples therapy, I was paying $100 an hour. If you think that’s expensive, it’s actually a little more on the cheap side—people could pay less, but some couples end up paying $150 or more. 

What if you could get free couples therapy and not even have to leave your home? 

Meditation—the practice of awareness or mental focus—could be the answer to couples in distress, or even just people who want to improve their relationship.

Here’s how meditation could actually work as couples therapy.

It Can Help You Be Your Best Self

If you find yourself stressed out by work, kids, or just life in general, you probably don’t feel like your best self every day.

Daily meditation with your significant other can help you to feel less bothered, especially by the little things that don’t really matter. It can cultivate patience and understanding. It can even help you to better control your behavior.

Through meditating, you may find that huge issues in your relationship become smaller. No longer will something that happened a week ago be as relevant. Perhaps you will even recognize some old wound in yourself that needs to heal.

Acceptance-based meditation can help you welcome and acknowledge thoughts, but not judge them. Allow them to exist, but not to overwhelm you or alter your relationship. 

Bring Out Positive Qualities

Meditation is a time to connect with yourself and your partner. Through meditation, you can bring out the best in both of you. Meditation allows room for growth and healing.

Meditating together can open up a door to appreciating positive qualities not just in each other, but in the life you experience. These qualities include things like compassion and love for one another. Meditation can bring more joy and peace in your daily lives. 

Through this daily practice, you can begin appreciating positive things about the other person without getting overwhelmed by the tiny imperfections that used to bother you so much. You may find yourself appreciating strengths rather than focusing on weaknesses.

Create Stronger Emotional Awareness

When you’re more aware of yourself and your significant other, you begin to notice things you may not have before. These include energy and emotions.

Since meditation can help bring things into focus and cultivate self-awareness, you can become more aware of your inner feelings as well as your partner’s. Practicing awareness every day can create room to simply see more.

This can be particularly helpful if you and your partner are at a crossroads in your relationship. Do you choose to journey on alone, or will you continue on your path together? Meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Having a stronger emotional awareness and intelligence can help you decide to move on or move forward together.

How to Give It a Try

Beginning a meditation practice can be simple. Don’t view it as intimidating; this practice is a simple cultivation of the awareness that’s already within you.

Consistency is an important part of meditation. Think of it as a workout for your brain—it needs to be trained regularly. Consistency seems to be the area where most people struggle with meditation. Fortunately for couples, they have one other person to remind them to meditate each day!

If you’re worried about forgetting to meditate, there are apps that can help you to stay zenful every day. The best part is that meditation can be done just about anywhere. You don’t need a fancy pillow or even a special area—you can your partner can simply go for a walk. Just be present together.

Don’t let a lack of location stop you. While TV time with the children will often interrupt your focus, a quiet hike through the woods can work wonders.

Forget about paying a therapist—honestly, cultivating self-awareness and reading some Eckhart Tolle did more for me and my fiancé than our therapist did. Whether you’re considering going different paths in your lives or just want to create a stronger relationship, give meditation a try in place of--or even in conjunction with--couples therapy!