3 Steps to Reframe Stress and Embrace Acceptance

Let’s face it: life can be downright overwhelming. You’re juggling the demands of your partner, your kids, a job that feels like it’s squeezing the joy out of your existence, and the chaos that comes with it all. You might find yourself aching for things to change, believing that if only your circumstances were different, you’d finally feel at ease. But here’s a thought: What if your stress has less to do with your current circumstances and everything to do with your resistance to them? Pretty interesting idea, right? The distress you’re feeling isn’t because of the conditions around you but instead is born from the resistance that comes from wanting something different from what is.

Now while this article is about acceptance, I’m not advocating for you to be a doormat and tolerate mediocrity and unpleasant situations. Rather, I’m offering three steps to help you reclaim your ease, reconnect with your present moment, and shift your perspective to create the kind of day you want to have.

Step 1: Own Your Resistance to What Is

The first step in this transformative journey is recognizing where you’re digging in your heels against reality. When those feelings of frustration bubble up—whether it’s the incessant complaining of colleagues or the snags at work—pause for a moment. Ask yourself, “Am I resisting this? Am I fighting against the current moment?”

Just acknowledging that you’re sustaining resistance can be a total game-changer. It’s not about resignation or giving up; it’s about letting reality be reality. Think about it: next time you’re stuck behind a snail-paced driver when you’re running late and irritation flares up, try to check in with yourself. Identify that this anger is a product of pushing against things as they are. By shifting from resistance to acceptance, you free up those resources to be used for new ideas, allowing you to respond rather than react. That capacity is where your power and freedom lie.

Step 2: Drop the Future Worries and Embrace the Present

The second step is to realize that much of your stress resides in your imagined future rather than the present moment. Our minds can project all sorts of outcomes, usually the worst-case scenarios that only serve to amplify our anxiety. But here’s the truth: stress doesn’t exist in the now.

So, take a moment. Breathe deeply and ground yourself in where you are right at this very moment. Look around. Even amid a looming project deadline and your laundry list of to-dos —ask yourself: what’s really happening right now? In this moment? It’s likely that you’re not in any real danger; you're simply navigating the beautiful, chaotic mess of life. By focusing on the present and letting go of resistance to imagined future states, you’ll find a renewed sense of clarity and calm.

Step 3: Reverse Engineer Your Path to Ease and Joy

Now we get a little creative for the last step. Fast forward in your mind to a future where everything is exactly as you’d love it to be. Picture it vividly— the fulfilling career, the relationship you desire, the peace you crave. Now, as you visualize this ideal state, let’s turn the script around and look back.

Ask yourself how your current challenges—the chaos, the stress, the frustration—are serving your journey to that future. Although it may feel counterintuitive, this form of cognitive restructuring invites you to view your struggles as essential components, lessons, and stepping stones for growth. By reframing your challenges in this way, you can embrace each bump in the road as a vital part of the process.

This perspective allows you to recognize how each obstacle contributes to shaping the version of yourself that can achieve the happiness you envision. Acknowledging this journey can fill you with gratitude, transforming stress into appreciation for the valuable lessons that each challenge offers.

Cultivating an easeful and joyful mindset is much like building muscle; it takes consistent practice over time. By integrating these three steps—acknowledging your resistance, grounding yourself in the present moment, and reframing your narrative—you’ll notice a profound shift in your experience.

Embrace these practices daily so they become woven into the fabric of your life. With this approach, you’re shifting your baseline from one of constant stress to a vibrant state of ease, making stress the occasional guest rather than a full-time resident.

Even amidst life’s whirlwind, you have the power to rewrite your story. By embracing acceptance and gratitude, you create space to breathe, to feel, and to simply exist with more ease and joy in your life.

Amy Eliza Wong is the founder of Always On Purpose®. As a leadership expert, author, and speaker, she collaborates with organizations, like Salesforce and LinkedIn, to provide transformative leadership development and communication strategies. A certified coach in Conversational Intelligence®, Amy combines principles from transpersonal psychology, interpersonal neurobiology, and mindfulness to help executives achieve flow and impact. Her book, "Living On Purpose," won the 2022 Book of the Year award by The Magic Pen.