Helping someone through a Miscarriage

I got a call today from one of my best friends who until yesterday did not know she was pregnant, she had a feeling and was late, so she decided to take a test and there it was she was pregnant with their second child. She was thrilled and nervous, she and her husband had decided not to tell anyone until they got past the first trimester as they have had two previous miscarriages. She woke up this morning and was bleeding, she knew something was wrong and ended up going to the hospital for testing, she was miscarrying her third child.

I am generally one that can handle delicate situations and offer my love and support, but I find that when the pain comes from miscarrying your child I do not know how to help or react.

Can anyone suggest any ideas on how I can help my best friend? She is a very emotional person by nature and when she loses her child it's too much for her to handle. I need to be there for her and need your help on ways to help her cope.

Thanks.
11/6/2007 4:13:16 PM
Mareesa
Written by Mareesa
My most recent adventure in life is to run a half marathon, I ran one a few years ago and for some crazy reason I’ve decided to do it again. I ran my first half marathon in 2 hour and 11 minutes, and my goal this time around is to run in 2 hours or less. All I can say if I am really going to need to speed things up this ...
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Comments
I had my second child , because my husband , took Generic Viagra during many time , DD22 so I think that your story is a little be similar, but it is more interesting than mine one, so thanks for sharing!!
Posted by Balo
She's doing great, she's having another boy he should be arriving in mid July unless he comes early like her first son did. Her 1st son is 19 months and cute as can be. Thanks for keeping my friend in your thoughts!
Posted by Mareesa
How is she now? Wow! What an ordeal, how close between pregnancies did this happen? I'm keeping her and her baby in my thoughts.
Posted by KathyK
There's been an interesting update on my friend who was told she had a miscarriage... well she didn't, she's still pregnant!!!! My friend had a feeling that she didn't miscarry as she did not have the same symptoms this time that she had with the last two miscarriages. She's had some health insurance issues but finally was able to get into the Dr office yesterday and they confirmed she is pregnant, she is 6 weeks pregnant. I am so thankful that she didn't schedule a D&C appointment as recommended as she would have terminated her own pregnancy without knowing. Please keep my friend in your thoughts and pray for a healthy baby!
Posted by Mareesa
I don't know what it's like to have a miscarriage, but I was bleeding during my first trimester. I was busy with my day, and then all of a sudden, I felt a gush of blood and cramping. I was in the best shape that I had ever been. I didn't know why I was bleeding. No one offered me any explainations that made any sense. I was told that if I was going to miscarry then there was nothing that can be done about it. I felt desperate because I can feel myself bleed but there wasn't a magic pill for me to take to stop it. That night they performed an ultrasound. I was told that my cervix was intact and they let me listen to his heartbeat. Although I ultimately didn't miscarry, I was scared that my baby wouldn't be born. If I had lost the baby that day, I can't imagine how devastated I would have been. Like Bryan and his wife, I was "on-edge" up until the later part of the pregnancy. I was lucky to have my friends and family to help me through it. The nicest words came from my mother-in-law. She told me that she knew how much I wanted the baby and not to blame myself for anything.
Posted by Charlotte
My wife and I had 2 miscarriages before we had our son, who is now 7 months old. As we were going through those miscarriages our emotions ran the gamut from confusion, to anger, to frustration, to guilt (what am I doing to cause this?), to what's wrong with my body, to "why me," etc. We barely enjoyed the third pregnancy b/c we were so "on edge" the whole time, almost waiting for something bad to happen again. But it didn't. We had a beautiful healthy boy. And now those miscarriages seem like forever ago. Maybe your friend will be better able to cope this time around b/c she has a baby already who loves and needs her, and she will be reminded that before that baby came along she struggled with miscarriages as well, but eventually had a beautiful baby. It'll happen again for her.
Posted by Bryan
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