2007 Reflections

Often people set goals for the new year without stopping to reflect on the past year. The problem with that approach is that lessons learned are often not carried forward, so you wind up repeating the past year's mistakes. This exercise helps you access lessons learned so that you achieve emotional completion for the past year.

Carve out some time (an hour or two) and set the stage: put on your favorite relaxing music, get plenty of paper and pens, light candles, have some hot tea, meditate, pray - in other words, get as comfortable and relaxed as possible. The goal for this exercise is a calm state of mind.

Now, reflect on the following questions and write down your responses, with regard to 2007:

Where did I fall short of my expectations for myself and my life?
Who have I hurt this past year and how?
Who do I need to forgive for things that hurt me? [include yourself if needed] This step is vital - remember that holding resentment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die.
What are my achievements that I'm most proud of? Be specific.
Who do I need to acknowledge for support given to me [assistance, comfort, guidance, mentoring, coaching, money, etc.]? Write down the specifics for each person.
When you have completed the writing portion of this exercise, make a new list of actions to take for emotional closure. Keep in mind that you don't have to take action towards a person in order to be emotionally complete. Sometimes other people do not understand the intentions of the actions and may actually be disturbed by them, so take that into account when you make this list.

To whom do I need to write a letter [not for mailing] in which I express my resentment and anger for their behavior that hurt me? [after doing this letter, have a ritual in which you burn it or shred it and focus on forgiveness as you do so] Sometimes it's appropriate to share this with the person, after you have forgiven, and only for the purpose of strengthening your relationship.
Who do I wish to personally thank, and how?
To whom do I need to apologize, for what, and how would I do it?
Whom do I wish to acknowledge [for their achievements], for what, and how would I do it?
Now, go and fulfill your action list! Let yourself witness the joy in other people as you acknowledge and thank them. Far too little acknowledgement goes around and most people are hungry for it, so make this fun for yourself and those you love.

Let yourself experience the burdened lifted as you write letters you don't mail, burn them, and release the anger and resentment. Let yourself feel acknowledged for your achievements - you worked hard for them and it's vital to celebrate them along the way.

Last but very important - write about the lessons learned from your most joyful and painful experiences this past year. Write them with the intention to have those lessons support you in your life going forward. This is the beginning of your goals for 2008.