Save my relationship

I have been married to the woman of my dreams for almost 16 years. We married early, her 16 and I was 19. Against all odds, we have overcome many obstacles and our share of troubles. Apparently though, we have hit a major hump and I'm not sure of the problem(s). She is bad about bottleing up and not communicating, and claims that I have many issues that are too numerous to mention, like holding grudges and not wanting her to be around her family. I don't feel like this is the way it is, and with her being my very best friend I have no one to talk to about it other than her, of which I am smothering her now for answers as to where we are headed. We have two wonderful daughters and I dont want them to go through the pain of divorce that she and I both went through as children. I love her with all my heart, but dont know what to do....