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Kraemer Deborah Tebes PhD

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Kraemer Deborah Tebes PhD
Kraemer Deborah Tebes PhD
(1 Review)
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188 Armory Street Hamden, CT 06514
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(1 Review)
It has been many years so I cannot speak for how Dr. Kraemer is now. However, I saw her as a child with ASD during my preteen and teenage years. I eventually walked out after several years because I couldn't handle her anymore.

I understand that a therapist cannot help anyone but me. She cannot change how anyone else treats me. She can only help how I react and deal with external forces.

But unfortunately I feel she expressed that very poorly and ended up more or less giving me a self-blame complex that lasted for many years. "People are bullying you all the time? Clearly it's your fault and due to your social issues." Obviously she didn't phrase it quite like that, but that's how it certainly felt. It got to the point where any time I told her of something bad that happened, I had to preface it with every single stipulation that I did X and Y beforehand and was trying to be completely aware, etc., so that she didn't immediately jump to saying that it was my fault.

My current therapist agrees that when dealing with preteens and teens, there is a better way to address these issues without making the child feel targeted and blamed.

Trust me, I have also dealt with therapists who just smile and nod and affirm whatever you say, and those aren't great either, so I am not accusing Dr. Kraemer of not coddling me enough.

But it took me a very, very long time to stop gaslighting myself after I stopped seeing her. If people treated me poorly, I did not know for years whether it was because of my own social failings or because the person themselves was behaving poorly. I accepted verbal abuse from my peers because I assumed that it was due to my own social issues and I clearly did something wrong. My current therapist, thankfully, has helped me sort a lot of this out and I no longer gaslight myself like that.

I cannot say this is entirely due to Dr. Kraemer. I'm sure she did try to help me deal with these people and recognize that they were treating me poorly. But I don't remember any acknowledgment of such. I don't remember hearing anything other than, "What did you do to make them act that way?" Of course, I am looking back at this as an adult on something that happened a long time ago. But I know that preteens and teens, especially those on the spectrum, know that their social skills are poor and suffer enough from it.

One technique she taught that has helped me throughout my life, though, is eye contact. Eye contact is very hard for those with ASD, so stare at the other person's forehead instead.
by S Hornby xxx.xxx.220.107
July 29, 2024
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188 Armory Street, Hamden, CT 06514