If you are husband and wife DO NOT go in as a couple. My wife and I went in for counseling after the death of our son. The program is founded by a man who openly talks about how he was violently psychologically, emotionally and physically abusive towards women for the majority of his life. He had been reformed and shared a lot of good information about his experience overcoming it but the counseling sessions were completely unethical and immoral. During the counseling I was repeatedly accused of being abusive when I have never been abusive towards a woman in my life. we were there because our son died and did not understand how to process the loss.

I can see by the comments on this forum and others that many others have had the same experience. It is completely unethical and immoral. I have attempted to bring it to light with the owners and leaders and they have refused to acknowledge what is going on in there program.

Although they claim to be, they are not a Christ centered organization.

If you have been negatively impacted by this organization please comment on here. This place needs to be made accountable.

by Very Disappointed xxx.xxx.214.203

December 29, 2021

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Claims to be Christian, but is a biased, opinionated organization, assuming every male is an abusive pig-- and will pigeon-hole you into their assumptions and then attack you verbally trying to get you to confess to crimes or attitudes you do not have, or have not done. Very contrary to Christ's non-condemming spirit of compassion, truth, guidance, and help. I'm still hurting from the abuse they inflicted on me twenty years ago. If you are a chauvinistic pig, then the course may be good. Otherwise, they help narcissistic spouses feel entitled and vindicated, ending your marriages quest for help. Not worth the risk of attending. Read some good books by Christian authors instead. Dont just buy the books, read them. Get your mentoring and help from elsewhere. Focus on the Family broadcasts and websites have good resources that are way more helpful--besides truthful, timely and cheaper. Seek God your self. Learn to be humble honest and yes vulnerable--but only to truth.. Do not let yourself be vulnerable to the lies and condemnation of an assuming, condemning lifeskills rehabilitated arrogant abuser who has changed his target to you. Not a Christian organization at all as indicated by their character, their fruits and attitudes, they only choose some scriptures to use. Satan has derailed what could have been good, a wolf in lambs clothing is what the program is to those who do not fit the stereotype they designed to serve. Even then the risk of mistreatment and deceit is too high. It's not Christian. In my day, twenty years ago, there was huge discord in the local branch leadership causing the instructor to quit after 26 out of 30 weeks. Something about not being able to offer help to those who needed it, because they had to stay within Paul's format for lifeskills. That should say it all. Do not be mislead or deceived by their promises or claims.
Their only correct assumption is yes we all need to work on ourselves, but only in truthfulness, but then also work on relationships dynamics. You do not exist in isolation from your spouse. Marriage is a dynamic combination of both personalities---something they can not address as gender separated classes, nor do i believe that even if they have changed to now working with you as a couple -- that their underlying assumptions have changed. This is a 20 year old opinion, but my vote is that there are better resources out there today. I wish i had access to all the books that have recently been written on relationships. Let some Christian recommend or screen the books. Read them out loud with your spouse and talk about the concepts and put them into practice. May God bless you and your spouse. Relationships with other couples help, maybe doing a book together as a small group discussion weekly.

by Peter Brown xxx.xxx.154.19

July 29, 2021

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These people must be stopped. They are %100 civil rights violators, and are domestic terrorists.ZERO STARS THEY DESERVE TO BE IN PRISON

by The Precher xxx.xxx.110.136

May 27, 2020

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I find it quite interesting that all comments on this feedback are from the husbands and not the wives. I am the wife to a commenter on this page and I have a completely different opinion of our counseling with Debra Buss. The woman was spot on in noticing and calling out the abusive behavior my husband has. He did not much like that of course to say the least. If he would have took what he learned applied it and actually owned and started dealing with his issues we could be well on our way to health and healing. Instead he decided to stay in denial of the truth project onto Debra as he does with everything else. I personally feel the $12000 we spent was the best $12000. I ever spent. Did it do anything the heal the marriage...NO but it did bring healing to me and helped me move onto healthier. My husband was unable to manipulate Debra as he did so many others. Someone stood for the truth and he didn't like that.

by Julia Olsen xxx.xxx.251.207

October 07, 2016

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Hello,

My wife and I spent one week in council with Dr. Debra Buss. She's a wounded woman who see's life, and councils, through the pain of her own life. She's been abandoned and abused by men from an early age which has left her with a very controlling spirit and a hatred for men. Her council is very biased and may work for some situations that demand it - but for those that don't it will reek havoc. Look elsewhere for the healing your marriage needs.

Eric

by Eric Olsen xxx.xxx.80.65

July 30, 2016

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Paul is a very odd man in so many ways. My wife went through his training, got his personal phone number and permission to give it to me to call him. I called 7 times, left 7 messages, and then told my wife that I was sure he was just too busy. she insisted I continue to try. I did. I am not exaggerating when I say I left 20 messages. When we finally did talk, it was exactly as GIVENNEWLIFE has described. He spoke constantly about himself and the plans for LSI, and kept name dropping people he'd been interviewed by, and this went on for an embarrassing amount of time. I started looking for hidden cameras thinking this was a gag. He outright told me not to talk, but just to listen because he knew me ... that is to say, he knew who I was, because I was him. He went on to superimpose his terrible abuse behavior toward his wife on me. My wife and I have argued fairly "normally", but I'd never physically touched her in an abusive way as he had, and I constantly praised her for her looks, skills, mothering ability, etc., unlike Paul who had told his wife she was fat, ugly, and he didn't know why he had ever married her. We had two conversations over my trying to reach him continually over several months. Both times he exhibited the above behavior, and he also kept reminding me about how much it would have cost me if he would have been seeing me professionally, and that he was doing me a big favor since his schedule was so packed. He sounded high strung and neurotic.

Last summer he was in our area, and my wife arranged for she and I to meet with him personally. It was absolutely the strangest day of my life as I saw the same ego driven drivel just come from him in such large volumes. As we talked, he became agitated and angry if I simply questioned a stance he was taking. He challenged me as to how many books have I written, and how many hours of research have I done, and that kind of elementary schoolyard talk. He seems to have a high intelligence and a fair working knowledge of the scripture though it appears to be selective to his discipline which is understandable.

Unfortunately, my wife is leaving me to pursue following this idealogue, and becoming a facilitator for him. I attended the certificate presentation to those in our area who had completed LSI's local training. The "leadership" that were awarded the certificates left a lot to be desired as it consisted of people who had come from very hard, broken and pitiable lives themselves, and since I knew some of them personally, I can say they tended to follow new spiritual trends as they came down the Pike as a lifestyle.

by Jim Hallford xxx.xxx.192.22

October 03, 2015

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My recommendation would be that you search elsewhere to find counseling. Dr Debra Buss is not the answer unless you fit the niche she'll put you in. The counseling you'll get is seen through the circumstances she's been through in her life and Dr. Paul Hegstrom isn't available. You'll pay an awful lot for a biased opinion which has more to do with where they've been in their life than where you are in your life.

by Sam xxx.xxx.37.45

February 17, 2014

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I commend Dr. Paul Hegstrom for his research, from which my wife and I received some benefit in our five day Intensive in their Aurora, Colorado office. Other than that, there's not much good that can be said.

We spent most of the time watching videos, and about 1/8th of the time in counseling with Dr. Debra Buss, Paul Hegstrom's associate. The cost was well over $1,000.00/day -- rather exorbitant, in my estimation, for watching videos all day, and no more than 1-2 hrs/day in counseling.

Dr. Hegstrom told us he gave up counseling long ago. It's a good thing he did. Private discussions I had with him, during breaks, quickly demonstrated why he is unfit to counsel anyone. He is hasty and even eager to project his unresolved insecurities and emotional problems onto others, of which he has many, including anger issues he claims to have resolved. "You're just like me" is something he told me everyday, as he went on to reveal yet more bizarre stories about himself--things that I have never even thought of doing myself, let alone actually perpetrating. Strange behavior for a mental health professional.

Were Dr. Hegstrom's choice of a staff counselor a good one, his own peculiar bedside manner might not be a significant hindrance to his Life Skills International being a beneficial practice. However, Dr. Debra Buss has many of her own unresolved issues (including anger and hostility) and is in serious need of therapy herself. As my wife was quick to note, Dr. Buss is a certifiable man-hater.

What's especially remarkable is that Paul Hegstrom is a man-hater too, and quick to blame men for all the relational problems in the world, while being equally eager to give women a pass. In Paul Hegstrom's universe, men are always the perps and women are always the victims; and if it can be shown that a women is the perp, it's always still the man's fault (he must have done something to make her become abusive).

Paul Hegstrom and Debra Buss might do you some good, provided you fit neatly into their narrow profile: Either you are a violent/abusive male, or you are an abused female. If you don't fit the profile they'll attempt to stuff you in it anyway. Their confirmation bias prevents them from seeing patients in an objective light.

by Givennewlife

May 15, 2012

Life Skills International

Counselors

Mount Saint Vincent Preschool

Denver, CO

Kay Sheehan, LCSW, EDD, BCB-Senior Fellow, BCN

Centennial, CO

Tree of Life Counseling

Aurora, CO

Psychology

Aurora, CO

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