An emotional attachment to another person while in a relationship can be just as devastating to a partner as a physical affair. However, it is also possible to simply have a good friend who shares an emotional bond, without being in anything more than a friendship relationship. But sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, about 35% of married women and 45% of married men self-report as having had at least one emotional affair during the marriage. While it is not unusual for both partners in a marriage to have emotional or physical affairs (or both), in self-reporting online surveys 88% of women and 44% of men stated that they were more concerned about their partners having emotional affairs than physical affairs.
Recognizing the signs of an emotional affair is often a challenge; it may be changes in your partner's behavior and his or her response to any questions you may have that provide the details needed to make this determination. At the same time, and this is a significant challenge, a manipulative or deceptive partner can explain away the other "relationship" and, if it is online only, may not see it as being unfaithful as there is no physical dimension to the affair.
Signs Of A Problem
A spouse may ignore or overlook some of the signs of an emotional affair or even view the situation as a fault of their own. This often causes them to try harder to be their partner's "ideal mate," which only results in pushing them further away.
This becomes a vicious cycle that can affect the "offended spouse's" sense of self-esteem, ability to set boundaries and ability to see the issues with the partner's behavior choices. This cycle has to be broken for the offended spouse to see the truth and get out of the toxic relationship.
Some of the signs/indicators of an emotional affair include:
If you think your partner is unfaithful, even if it is a long-distance, online type of emotional affair, it is important to consider the short and long-term implications of the behavior and how it fits into your expectations of the relationship.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW is a Certified Transformation and Recovery Coach and the leading Psychotherapist on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab and Sex Addiction. She helps people find the love of their lives. Take her quiz to find out if you’re a love addict or sign up for a 30-minute strategy session. She is also the author of “The Marriage and Relationship Junkie: Kicking your Obsession.” Sherry maintains a private practice and is a sought after online dating and relationship coach. For more information visit www.sherrygaba.com.
References:
https://www.verywellmind.com/emotional-affairs-and-infidelity-2303091