How to Strengthen the Bond With Your Grandkids

Grandkids truly are the sunshine that makes every day brighter! As a grandparent, it’s important to pass on family values and traditions and to help the little ones feel like they have a tie to those from whom they've come.We want to help them build memories that will sustain them after we've gone and we want to absorb some of that little-kid delight to warm our days as well. Sometimes, with the age gap and generational differences, we may feel like we're missing the mark. But don't worry, we've got you covered.

Introduce Grandkids to Your Favorite Hobbies

The best part about being older is having some extra time that we didn't have when our own kids were little. All of a sudden we can push deeper into the things we love and hobbies are one the best boons of that extra time. Conveniently, they are also one of the best ways for grandkids to learn about us. They can see who we are even as they learn something fun. Whether it’s gardening, golf or photography, introduce it to them and let them get in there with their little hands. Show off those valuable tips and skills. Remember that lecturing to a kid doesn't help them engage. Let them old the tools and tackle a project on their own. Give them their own garden patch. Let them experiment with the tools and things you're teaching, too.  Don't be so fast to step in and correct them or tell them how to get it 'right" — they may help you find a breakthrough in the process.

Don't forget to ask about their hobbies, too. Even if it's playing video games, we can learn something new from them as they share. The willing grandparent is the bonded grandparent. 

Be a Tech-Savvy Grandparent

Kids of all ages are learning how to video-chat on phones or computers. Many don't like to just talk on the phone anymore. Being able to see and interact with the grandkids can enrich the entire experience but it shows your willingness to interact with them on their terms, even if it makes you uncomfortable. This helps to strengthen the bond, especially if they live far away. 

Protip: Texting is where it's at these days. Most kids prefer text or email over the phone or even video. Remember though that many find end-stop punctuation to sound rude or formal or even curt. So to soften your language and come off as friendly, leave off that period from the last sentence in a string.

The Best Grandparents Show Up

One of the best things that can be done to improve grandparent-child relationships is to be there for them in their environment. Show up for dance recitals and birthdays of course, but invest in their daily projects, too. Let them know they're appreciated, and be their biggest fan, rooting them on from the sidelines in everything thy do from the math test to the newest skateboard move. Show them they matter to you, and be the foundation for encouragement and positivity in their lives. Sometimes parents get caught up in the daily grind and the cheerleader role is one that's perfect for grandparents.

Be Okay With a One-Sided Relationship

Remember that kids are caught up in their worlds and forget to keep connected to the people who matter most. Don't ever nag or chastise them for this, but instead, just get in there and keep asking about their things. They'll remember that you care when they stop to look around.

Consider traveling together, taking vacations or just having a Sunday dinner every week to help reinforce relationships and to move their focus back to the family in the off-time. It doesn't have to be elaborate. A walk down to the lake to fish or a jaunt through a biking trail can really encourage a healthy and interactive grandkid/grandparent relationship. 

Material things can be nice, but they are just that, things. Our grandkids will remember the time they spend with us long after we're gone, rather than a doll or truck they got for Christmas or their birthday so keep the focus on time and don't expect the kid to make you the center of their world. Just keep showing up and let that be enough.

Building a solid relationship foundation comes with nurturing, interaction, trust and time. All of these things are free to give and take — but none of them happen without effort. The payoff of strongly bonded families is well worth every moment, though. 

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