How To Tell a "Good" Therapist From a Mediocre One

Bad Therapy

• May make you feel cared about, but doesn't challenge you to see yourself more clearly or change behaviors that are inconsistent with your highest values.
• Ignores or overlooks disturbing or destructive habits in order to maintain a conflict-free therapy environment.
• Leaves you feeling judged, pressured, or manipulated into doing things that don't feel relevant or right for you.
• Feels unsafe, unproductive, or unprofessional in some way.
• Feels like it's meeting your therapist's needs more than your own.
• Rehashes old issues and doesn't lead anyplace new.
• Over or underestimates how distressed you are, so you feel pathologized or insufficiently supported.
• Usually ends with phrases like: "Well, we're out of time... Should we set up our next appointment?"\

If anything jumps out at you after reading my lists, I'd talk to your therapist about your needs, concerns, or unmet expectations.

Most people go to see therapists when they're feeling vulnerable or confused. It's important to remember that therapists are just people. We have our own blind spots, fears, and varying levels of experience, comfort, and expertise.

Your therapist sounds nice. But what's most important is that you are getting what you need from your time together. If you have any doubts, concerns, or questions, bring them up at your next session. I would expect her to be willing to address those issues head on, without becoming defensive, and either change course, or refer you to someone who is more qualified to meet your needs.

Best of luck,

Betsy