Online Dating - Don't Make These Mistakes

It may be a surprise to the twenty-and-thirty-somethings who think they've cornered the market on dating, but there's no “sell-by" date for romance. There are plenty of people in their forties, fifties, sixties and older looking for love.

In addition to never-married singles, today's middle-aged and senior singles are getting back in the dating game after losing a partner through a relationship breakup, divorce or death of a spouse. The loss of a significant romantic relationship, whether or not marriage and divorce were involved, can be enormously stressful. Working through the sadness left behind is painful, and, again, individuals will differ in the time it takes before they are ready to let go of the relationship and move on with their lives.

The never-married single may have dated through youth and early middle age without forming a lasting or long-term attachment. In that situation, a milestone, such as “the big Four-O" or “the big Five-O or even the “big Six-O" birthday, may signal to this person that dating days are over. Whatever the background, when one begins missing the companionship and love of a romantic partner, he or she may decide, “It's time to get back in the dating game."

The next thoughts will likely be: “How?" “Where will I meet someone?" I'm not going to the bars and clubs the kids go to." Fortunately, there are numerous possibilities for dating hopefuls to meet compatible matches in the contemporary dating scene.

The proliferation and popularity of online dating sites—including those that actively encourage participation of seniors—and success stories from ordinary men and women who found love and marriage on the Internet prove irresistible to more singles every day. Typing “dating sites" into a search engine will bring up multiple results, from large, highly-rated plans that match up all age ranges to niche sites targeted toward specialty groups of seniors. These boutique dating sites may focus on such attributes as Christian matches, Jewish singles, pet lovers, wealthy professionals—even motorcycle riders. There are also sites geared toward dating intent--from people seeking serious relationships or marriage, to others interested only in casual or flirtatious dating, companionship or just being pen pals.

While the Internet makes it easier to meet potential dates these days, it also makes it easier for confidence tricksters to find targets.

Safety tips: Proceed with caution to avoid the scam artist who's only looking for a meal ticket. Protect your identity by not using your full name or any personal information that could allow someone to find you. Get to know potential matches by using the site's message/email system rather than your personal one. If someone pressures you for additional info, break off communication, block that person from contacting you again, and report him/her to the site administrator.

Be honest about yourself and what you're looking for in a potential mate when you answer questionnaires to create the profile others will see. Use a recent photo, not an outdated one that's flattering because it shows you looking younger and thinner. Don't use a snapshot that contains identifying images, such as logos or street signs, that may compromise your security.

If you decide to take the next step and meet in person, arrive separately at a public place (such as a coffee shop), preferably when it's busy during daytime. Tell family or a friend when and where you will be and carry a cell phone. This first meeting date should be short and simple, a meet-and-greet chat. If your date looks nothing like his or her profile photo, or makes you feel uncomfortable through speech or behavior, leave.

Those who don't feel at ease posting their information and photo on dating sites may prefer meeting “friends of friends" on social networks or reconnecting with people known during high school or college days. Remember time-honored places to meet people with common interests, such as religious centers, social events, in a class, and when volunteering time.

Dating—at any age—can, and should be, FUN!