Don't Be Afraid! 5 Tips To Discuss Traumatic Events With Your Children

Let's face it, as parents, we are living in a world where traumatic situations are affecting our children's lives. No parent is prepared or wants to have such conversations about these tragedies with their children, however we are now living in a world where parents must have these conversations with their children so they do not get the wrong information from unreliable sources.

Studies show that parents want to talk to their children about traumatic situations such as school shootings, divorce or suicide but they simply cannot find the words, or fear that they will cause more panic for their children by discussing the event. The reality is that parents have more fears about talking about traumatic situations than their children. Children actually report that they feel less fear and panic about tragic events following a conversation with their parents.

Here are 5 parenting tips to help you have this necessary conversation with your child or teen.

1. Get Comfortable: The first thing you want to do is become comfortable within yourself with what has occurred. Take time to learn about the event and decrease your own anxiety. You want to talk to your child about the tragedy in a nonchalant way. Be honest but be aware of their age when providing details.

2. When To Bring it Up: You want to talk to your children soon after the event occurs so they do not find out false information from unreliable sources. This often causes more fear for your child. Talk to them while they are involved in an activity to cause less stress. Be brief in your comments and always reassure safety. Be prepared to answer any and all questions your children may have. Never push your child/teen to explore anything they are not ready to talk about. Leave the door open for future questions.

3. Different Language for Different Ages: If young children (6 years or younger) are not asking, you don't have to volunteer the information. However if they do ask, limit graphic detail. You want to keep reassuring them that parents and teachers are doing things to keep them safe. You can be more graphic with teens. They understand terms like guns and bombs. You don't have to sugarcoat it. Limit graphic details because with all the killings and the more kids watch, the more they could possibly become obsessed, which could lead to other mental health issues. If you see them obsessing on the act, get professional help immediately. Don't wait.

4. Limit Media Coverage: Limit the amount of news exposure they are exposed to daily. Turn on something else. Do other activities until the media coverage dies down. It's hard because we want to know what is going on. However the main concern is to decrease your child's level of fear and panic.

5. Be a Strong Role Model: Be honest with your child or teen when a tragic event occurs. Do not make promises that you cannot keep such as saying "no matter what I will keep you safe." Parents are not superheroes that can be everywhere all of the time. Make sure your child knows that you are there to provide unconditional love and support, and you will acknowledge their feelings.

No parent wants to have these serious and challenging conversations with their children, but we are living in a time where we must have these conversations to protect our children. Opening the door to communication now makes it easier for your child to come talk to you openly when another tragic situation occurs,