3 Common Fertility Mistakes

Starting a family is one of the most exciting chapters in your life as a couple. My purpose is to educate, empower and inform readers about some of the common mistakes couples make during this stage, to help you grow your family and strengthen your partnership so you can conceive with ease and transition pleasantly into parenthood!

Sometimes we focus so much on the excitement of making a baby that we can get (or stay) stuck in patterns that weaken us as a couple. This can make it harder to conceive in the first place. Furthermore, if you conceive while stuck in one of the patterns below, you may lose out on joy and lightness in your transition to parenthood.

1. Eating a Nutritionally Depleted Diet

In practically all traditional cultures, the role of nutrient-dense foods to support the couple as they prepare for conception is central. This isn’t just quaint and cute, and there is plenty of science to back ancestral practices. Both male and female fertility and hormonal balance rely on nutrients. Some crucial nutrients include:

• Fat-soluble vitamins, A, D, E and K
• Anti-oxidant nutrients, especially from food sources
• Zinc, which is a special mineral that support the health of both sperm and eggs
• Folate
• Choline
• Essential fatty acids
• Cholesterol, which is a precursor to both male and female sex hormones and which is crucial for fetal brain and nervous system development

2. Timing intercourse exclusively or mainly to coincide with fertile days

When trying to conceive, it’s obviously important to have sex on days when the woman is potentially fertile. However, this should be in addition to, not instead of, your usual frequency of intimacy. In particular, some people get so excited about trying to conceive that they forget how important sex may be for the health of the relationship and their partner’s well-being.

If you fall into this pattern, your partner may feel neglected and may even feel as though he has been downgraded to the status of a reproductive tool. I don’t know any woman who would knowingly exploit her spouse in this way, of course. However, you need to honor your partner’s emotional and physical needs even when your excitement around conception may distract your attention from his needs. Regular sexual activity is good for your relationship, and it benefits fertility by promoting hormonal balance in both men and women.

If you’ve been struggling to conceive and/or have a history of pregnancy loss, one or both of you may be grieving. This may make sex traumatic or difficult. If this is your case, please seek out professional help.

3. Addictions and Unhealthy Habits

There are several types of unhealthy habits that can impact couples trying to conceive, and they are each disruptive in their own way. It's important to keep in mind that addictive behaviors and substance use can affect your ability to conceive even if you’re a man! Three common addictions that may lower your chances to conceive are alcohol, marijuana and pornography.

Putting It All Together

By eating nutrient-dense unprocessed foods that contain fertility-supporting nutrients such as zinc, folate and fat-soluble vitamins, you and your spouse will increase your chances of conceiving easily and of having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. As you tune into your reciprocal needs for love and intimacy as a couple, you’ll strengthen your bond and reinforce your strength as a couple, making your baby a welcome add-on to a strong family unit.

Finally, it’s important to address addiction, especially to substances such as alcohol that can harm sperm and egg cells as well as damage DNA and the physical and cognitive development of the developing fetus. In other words, by nourishing yourselves with good food as well as with love you will greatly strengthen your relationship and reach a degree of emotional maturity that will help you prepare for parenting in the context of a mature and committed relationship.