Coping With Holiday Depression and Loneliness

The holidays are a joyous and magical time for many. But for some, loneliness and depression can dominate everything. Maybe it's because they're truly alone but for some, it's actually because they feel isolated even if others are around. But the thing is, no one wants to think about this or talk about it. But it's really the dark underbelly of the holidays and talking about it is the only way to start to solve this rampant problem with real-life consequences. 

Acknowledge That Feelings Are Valid

Accepting and acknowledging feelings is an essential part of working through them for a lot of people. There’s no reason to pretend that everything’s fine when feeling down. Instead, being honest about struggles can help put them in perspective. While it’s not a good idea to wallow in issues that may not be able to be changed, that’s not the same as admitting that some things are simply stressful or a bit of a struggle.

If we don't name the feelings we have, then we can't do anything about them. Many have found success through journaling, or by finding a friend who can listen without trying to solve every issue. But in order to improve anything, we first have to name it and look at it clearly. 

Reach Out

Loneliness may be reduced by reaching out to other people, even if they aren’t close friends or family members. Interacting with others and finding ways to give back to the community may reduce depression and boost mood. 

Online interactions count, the pandemic taught us this. Maybe start an online club for people that share your favorite hobby or look for an existing group and try to start a holiday gathering. Or look for online groups of people that are just for people to gather over the holidays. You might make new friends. Or you might just be entertained for the day — but either ay you're trying something new. No one is going to knock on our door and show up with holiday magic. If we want to take the edge off of loneliness, we have to reach out.

But the very best way to meet others and make yourself feel better? Find people to help. Volunteer to walk dogs at the animal shelter, go visit and read stories to people in the local hospice or the local care center. Adopt some elderly friends who are often lonely. By helping other people, focusing on groups to join online, and taking that first step to start a conversation, it may be easier to work through depression and lonely times and remind us that often, we're only as alone as we choose to be.

Understand That Rituals Change

Accepting that rituals and traditions don’t always stay the same forever may help with depression and loneliness. Often, those who recognize that this year is different but that next year will be different again even from this one, are happier people. Nothing stays the same. Which is bittersweet when it's a great time, but it's hopeful when it's a hard time.

Even if something was always handled a certain way, it can still change and become different as families travel or move away and children grow up and have families of their own. Looking back fondly on the good times and making new traditions that bring joy can help. Maybe it's time for an annual tradition of a bike ride or a solo camping trip, or staging a storytelling for local kids. Starting new traditions is the best way to gather the feeling of the old traditions into the next phase of life.

Put Differences Aside for the Season

If there are friends or family members who have differences of opinion, putting those aside and enjoying their company for the holidays may be not only beneficial but it may provide a catalyst for reconciliation and a better connected new year. Boundaries are still important, and it’s vital to know when to say no to something that’s truly uncomfortable or unacceptable but burying the hatchet is a good practice. With firm boundaries, though, spending time with others may be a good way to move into the new year with a lighter heart,

Seek Professional Help to Get or Stay Healthy

No matter what else a person considers when handling their loneliness and depression, seeking professional help may be necessary. Professional help is an important step to take to feel better, and it’s one that shouldn’t be put off if it’s needed. Asking for help may lessen depression and improve feelings of loneliness. And even if a person is basically in great mental health, having a guide to stay that way is a great plan for self-care that pays off big. Whether it’s through therapy, medication, or other means, the right kind of help may make the holidays better and easier than they otherwise might be, no matter where you're starting at.

If suicidal feelings strike, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988) for extra support. They don't invade your personal life and can be of genuine help.

Coping with loneliness and depression is incredibly challenging, but it's often when we try to face it alone that we exacerbate the problem. There are ways to reach out and make it easier, and there are options that may ease stress and even add to existing happiness. During the holidays and any time of year, depression and loneliness are treatable both through personal choices and with professional guidance. But no one is going to drag us there. The first step is loving ourselves enough to say that we deserve better, and then reaching out to make it happen. 

Copyright 2020, Wellness.com