6 Things to Know When Living with a Mentally Ill Spouse


Living with a spouse who has a mental health disorder could be challenging for the marriage and all the participants, including children. Many people married to someone with mental illness have to give up their serene lifestyle and adjust to new not so pleasant conditions.

If you have to deal with someone with mental health issues, it is vital not to break down and maintain a positive outlook. How? You need to acknowledge that your partner’s condition is not the end of the world. It’s only a disease that requires treatment, and you and your spouse can handle it together.

How Does Mental Illness Manifest?

  • If your husband or wife is bipolar, it can cause depression, anger, or agitation.
  • Worsening  symptoms concerning behavior include abnormal sleep patterns (e.g., insomnia), eating disorders, and decreased physical and social activity.
  • People with a mental health disorder often have problems with thinking straight. Their thoughts might get chaotic, depending on their mental health condition.

Since knowledge is power, you will need to educate yourself on all aspects of the relationship with someone with mental illness.

Vital Things to Know if Your Wife or Husband is Mentally Ill

1. Learn about the condition

Study their disorder in detail. Don’t take medical advice from unverified sources. Instead, search for information on trusted websites, for example, the National Alliance on Mental Illness or Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Look for medically reviewed articles written by mental health professionals and family therapists.

2. Develop a daily care strategy and a strategy for the flare-ups

A person with a mental illness needs constant support and medication that helps decrease relapse instances. So, if your girlfriend or boyfriend has mental problems, you should know how best to help them. You can ask their therapist about what methods to use and follow these instructions whenever your partner needs mental help. For instance, several studies proved that music therapy is a very effective mental health treatment.

3. Maintain respectful communication

When your husband or wife is mentally ill, you don’t want to sound patronizing or talk to them as if they’re little children. Instead, ask them about their state, and don’t be judgmental. For instance, if your wife has schizophrenia, she will often have delusions. In this case, the right way to deal with a schizophrenic partner will be to empathize with the feelings these delusions cause rather than persuade them that their experience isn’t real.

4. Be careful with medications

If your wife or husband is mentally ill and won’t get help, don’t try to become their therapist or give them medications yourself because you can’t predict what reaction they may cause. For example, if your wife is mentally unstable, certain substances might trigger psychotic episodes.

5. Weigh your options

Living with someone with mental health problems requires a stable financial state. Depending on their condition, they might occasionally be off work, and you’ll need to support the family alone. Because it’s a heavy burden, mental health and marriage breakdown are often closely linked. If you’ve decided to get divorced, remember to make time for recovery.

6. Take care of yourself

Often, the relatives of a mentally ill person need psychological help because of constant emotional strain. Luckily, several places provide support for spouses of mentally ill people – individual therapists, support groups, local counseling programs, NAMI, etc. Remember that you don’t have to be alone in this struggle.

12/14/2021 9:00:00 AM
Natalie Maximets
Written by Natalie Maximets
Natalie Maximets is a certified life transformation coach and a freelance writer with expertise in mindfulness and sustainability. She is a published author focused on the most progressive solutions in the field of Psychology. Natalie helps people go through fundamental life challenges, such as divorce, and build an ent...
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