Down in the dumps...

Let yourself feel all the emotions that you need to go through. Let your friends know how you are doing and talk to people who care about you. If you are not able to care for yourself because you are not eating, sleeping or doing the things that you normally do, take some time off and grieve. Visit your bestfriends people who will make sure you take care of yourself. If you are not eating, let them know. Let them help you start eating so that you can make good decisions. If you regularly excercised, but stopped. Try it again, it may be just the thing to help you get through one day to the next. Or atleast make your day tolerable.

Its hard when a relative died especially a close one or a distant one. Death of someone is always hard to deal with and you never quite recover. My grandma- mother side died when i was a teenager and no one understood me, nothing made sense and i was too young to apprehend my own emotions. last year my grandfather - fathers side died and I couldn't stop crying for days, knowing he was ill in hospital and couldn't recover. My uncle- mums side died this year from lung cancer from years of alchol intake and non stop smoking.

First , I’d like to express to you my condolences. You have been through quite a bit of loss in a very short period of time, and facing another at some point in the future. Death is never easy. Whether it’s the loss of a friend, family member, relationship or even a pet. Grief comes from the loss of someone we’ve held dear to our hearts. Go easy on yourself, it’s very important to deal with the loss. We sometimes push our feelings back or suppress them in an effort to “move-on”. And in turn this can and does lead to depression. I've also been told (and experienced) a traumatic experience (like a loss) can trigger an imbalance in a person's brain chemistry leading to a period of depression. Depending on how long you have been experiencing the symptoms of depression you may want to see a doctor. From personal experience, an anti depressant helped not only with the lack of motivation but the aches and pains as well. When I wasn’t achy I was able to exercise and I felt better and my appetite returned. And now that I’ve been off the medication for several years, I find that eating Salmon at least a couple a times a week and exercising when I can, really does wonders to combat the blues. I would also encourage you to seek out counseling. Grief counseling does wonders and will help you through each step in the grief process. It takes time, and depending on a lot of factors it could take a while. Just don’t rush, but DO take good care of yourself during this period. And if you still feel sad a year after the funeral don't worry. That's why it's called a "process". And I'm not sure Shelly realizes that she quoted the lyrics to "Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM, but I'm sure she means well. Take care.

*nods to Shelly* Being sad and being depressed are not the same thing. If you're still sad a year after the funeral, then maybe something else is going on. It doesn't sounds like that though. It just sounds like you have several things to be sad about. Give yourself permission to be sad, and just be sad for a little while. You'll get through it at your own pace, and I'm sure you'll be great. Sometimes I think our culture is afraid of being sad, as though there's something wrong with being sad from time to time.

Anytime we experience death it changes us dramatically. We think of our own mortality and what we are leaving behind. Sometimes it's a wake up call to get busy in our own life and start enjoying and participating in things we have put on the back burner. We experience grief because a change has occurred that has made a huge shift in our lives. While depression is a "normal" reaction cut yourself some slack. It's supposed to hurt. This is meant to be a time of refection. Let people who you care about know how you really feel about them. Take on the task that has been something you will get to "later". Take a day, a week, a month and have a good cry. Reflect, then participate. Make a list of what you want to do and why. Sometimes it takes a funeral to make us feel alive and see that life is beautiful. I sincerely wish you the best.